We talk about “coming out” like it is a single act or event. But coming out, and being out, is not a destination; it is a journey. It is a series of moments, of choices, of tests and challenges about being true to oneself. Coming out, and being out, is about owning your value, and owning the validity of your relationships and your family despite the people and systems that tell you that there is something wrong with you, that you are less than; or, that you are tolerated, but still don’t deserve the rights and privileges of everyone else. It is about deciding how vulnerable you make yourself in routine discussions with a neighbor, the insurance company, or the hair dresser. These are the little moments of revelation that most people take for granted, but they can have significant implications.
Like everything, changing attitudes take time. We are seeing change come at an amazing rate: same-sex marriage in Washington, DC, the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. There are definitely achievements to be celebrated. The journey is much less fraught than it once was for some; but for others, it is still perilous. And all too often, it comes down to a matter of resources. If one can afford the legal process, one’s relationship and family can be protected. With the benefit of choice in employment, one can choose to work for an employer that does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. Economically self-sufficient women (and men) have more security in coming out of heterosexual relationships because they are not bound to, or dependent on, the financial security and benefits those relationships provide in the current environment. Finally, coming out for young people in un-accepting families can mean homelessness and exposure to dangerous situations because they don’t have a safe space to go once they have come out.
As we celebrate National Coming Out Day, I also want to remember that coming out is just the beginning of the journey. There is a lot that we need to do to ensure that the journey is a safe and fulfilling one for travelers brave enough to embark upon it.
Nicole Cozier is the philanthropic education officer at Washington Area Women’s Foundation.
There are many powerful women in our community – in fact, The Women’s Foundation’s recent report, 2010 Portrait of Women & Girls in the Washington Metropolitan Area (Portrait Project 2010) shows that our region is home to a large number of highly educated, well-compensated women who are leaders in the community and who contribute to it in profound ways. That’s why I was so proud to see The Women’s Foundation’s president, Nicky Goren, on Washingtonian’s 100 Most Powerful Women list.
Today is Day of the Girl, the kick-off of a year-long celebration of girls and the recognition of a movement to make girls’ worlds bigger and better. To recognize the day, we’re taking a look at the barriers to success faced by girls in the Washington metro area, and we’re listening to what they have to say about their lives.
Yesterday, the U.S. Census Bureau released the new report Income, Poverty, and Health Insurance Coverage in the United States: 2010. The report found that in 2010, the median household income declined 2.3 percent to $49,445; the poverty rate rose to 15.1 percent, with 46.2 million people living in poverty; and the percentage of people without health insurance remained steady from 2009.
In today’s rundown: How homeless families handle a new school year in Northern Virginia. A new executive director at a Women’s Foundation Grantee Partner. Plus, the cost of creating a large number of new jobs that keep families in poverty.