ABC News did a segment about single moms appearing on “Dancing With the Stars” but didn’t bother to question the single father on the show. Why do we expect more from mothers and not hold fathers to the same standards?
The wasteland that is reality television is the last place that I would normally point to when taking a look at people, society and our community as a whole. For the most part, reality TV is ridiculous — real people putting on fake personalities because they’re publicity-savvy. But on some occasions, the reality genre can be a microcosm that represents both the real virtues and pitfalls of humanity. Today, I see the discussions surrounding one show in particular as respresentative of a problem many families in our community face — lack of accountability for fathers.
I started thinking about this topic when I saw this story about “Dancing With the Stars” that ran on “Good Morning America” earlier today. The video package was about the women of “DWTS” who are participating in the show in spite of the fact that they’re single moms. Kate Gosselin, Niecy Nash and Pamela Anderson (pictured above) are going through the demanding rehearsal and show schedule and taking care of their kids at the same time. I really like the idea of recognizing women who are able to follow their dreams AND raise their families — it opens doors and minds on all of our behalves. But at the same time, I found the story disturbing because their is a single dad on the show who was never mentioned. Chad Ochocinco, wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, has four young children (5, 6, 7 and 12) and he’s not married, either. I wonder why “Good Morning America” wouldn’t include him in a story about the difficulties single parents face while they’re taping a reality show.
The story did mention one father — Jon Gosselin, ex-husband of “Dancing With the Stars” conestant Kate and father of eight. The story mentions that Kate is able to participate in the show because Jon, “helps watch their kids” while she’s rehearsing. Well, how nice of him to “help watch” his own kids! <sarcasm off> The only thing that would make that statement more ridiculous would be if the person who wrote this pathetic story told us that Kate pays Jon to do his “watching.”
The lack of accountability for fathers in thsi story was irresponsible. Hey GMA: if Ochocinco’s a good dad, give him some credit, too. If he’s an absent father, do some journalism and find out what he’s doing taping a dancing contest instead of spending time with his kids. And stop referring to dads as helpers. When a post-divorce Jon Gosselin was running around with his new girlfriends and buying up all the Ed Hardy clothing available, no one said Kate was “helping watch” the kids! Magazines and newspapers practically made her sound like a single mom. My point is — it’s unfair to hold fathers and mothers to different standards when it comes to their invovlement in their kids’ lives. Being famous shouldn’t let a dad off the hook.
There are thousands of single moms in our area who aren’t on TV, who have demanding schedules for their entire lives, and who don’t have nannies, babysitters, etc. who can help out with the kids. Life is tough for many of them and one of the reasons it’s so tough is because they are by themselves. I know many people who would read this and say “I was raised by a single mom and I turned out fine.” And they’d be right. I know many wonderful people raised by single moms, just like I know single mothers who are raising great kids. It’s important to recognize their accomplishments, but it’s also important to hold the other parent responsible. We can’t leave men out of the equation or treat them as though they are supplemental. They helped make the kids — they should have an equal amount of participation in child-rearing. That doesn’t mean splitting all costs or time commitments right down the middle. But it does mean holding every father responsible and accountable for his children — on reality TV and in real life.